Didn't write while backpacking. Didn't write today. That's five days in a row sans writing.
Why don't I write? This question is infinitely more difficult to answer. Fear? Laziness? I don't really want to? Failure to prioritize? These are all probable factors.
All I know is that when I fail to write after promising myself I would, I feel like a lazy, fearful, unmotivated, unorganized loser. Horrible, no? So this evening I'm drinking whiskey with coke and cleaning the house. My way of drowning that bad feeling away.
One thing I dislike about myself is this tendency I have to let my emotions rule. I have a crummy (crumby?) day, I feel lousy, and I let everything slide so I can sit around and feel bad. Or, the other end of it is when I get super excited and happy and I start making promises left and right, sure I can do everything I feel like in that moment.
Balance, Grasshopper.
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